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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693245">And so Doom begins</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZwitterZwitter/pseuds/ZwitterZwitter'>ZwitterZwitter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rammstein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Baby!Schneider, Baby!Till, Curiosity, Discovery, Evolution, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Point of View, maternity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:48:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693245</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZwitterZwitter/pseuds/ZwitterZwitter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Baby Schneider's thoughts and experiences as he develops inside the womb.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hello?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Aaand I'm back with one of the weirdest ideas thats ever crossed my mind! I don't even know if its even a good one, but I'll give it a try. </p><p>Please comment and tell me what you think of this cause I have no idea what to make of it! </p><p>Christoph is a 5 week old embryo and can't do other than feel things around him at the beginning of the first chapter. </p><p>I am aware it is impossible for a developing baby to process things like this, or for any of us to remember as it happened to us, so please remember its just a work of fiction and only for entertainment purposes! Some of what happens may not be accurate to how a child actually develops. </p><p>Yeah, this was a weird idea... Without further ado! Here we go!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Where or what is exactly going on, I don't know. Neither how I got here… or what I am for the matter.<br/>
I guess I am…a… me? What is a me?</p><p>I feel something... Hello?</p><p>What is this feeling?</p><p>Something flutters in my core. The fluttering seems to never stop as I focus on it for a moment. I like it, it is warm inside me. Its my own fluttering, my friend.</p><p><br/>
I feel comfortable, everything is warm around me, it feels nice. I wouldn't mind staying for awhile, perhaps the fluttering will stay with me and keep me company. It tickles and makes me happy.</p><p>Suddenly something squishes me and pushes me around, its uncomfortable and I try to fight it only to find that I cannot. I can only feel the pressure that increases slightly around me and bothers my peaceful existence. It pushes me gently to one side, then to another…. Or is it up and then down?</p><p>Either way I am scared. I don't like it, but it only lasts a few moments before the pressure disappears and I am back to wonder where I am, how I got here, and what is going on, yet I can't think of the answer to all those questions. Again, the only thing I know is that I am here and I am me, alone with this flut–</p><p>The fluttering!</p><p>Worried, I check to feel if the fluttering is still with me and find I can still feel it. Still warm, soft and friendly within me. Fast and happy.</p><p>Good.</p><p>What was that thing from before? I don't want it to come back. It scares me. Whatever it was I hope it leaves me alone, I hope it's gone for good.</p><p>Suddenly I feel exhausted. And I don't feel like exploring anymore. The fluttering calms me with its quick little jumps. It feels like a little worm inside my tummy, getting chubby, and then skinny with each movement. It is very fast and does it over and over and over again.</p><p>I wonder how it can move so fast, I don't think I can move as fast as it does… in fact I don't think I can move at all, I am just pushed around when the pressure comes. I am a bit jealous, but for some reason I know it is happy to be with me, and that makes me happy too.</p><p>I don't know what it is, but it must like me if it sticks to me like this and tickles me. It is a good feeling. It reminds me how peaceful this place can be… I think I'll rest now…</p><p>The fluttering fades.</p><p>And so do I.</p>
<hr/><p>Something awakens me, it shook the place around me, like a jolt, or a wave. It makes me think of the last time I was here…. The last time…. Have I left at all? I don't know.</p><p>Anyhow, the pressure wasn't as strong around me as last time, but still enough to bring me back from wherever I went.</p><p>Another one comes, stronger than the first one, and it seems to move me around a bit. It scares me. Some more waves come, one after the other, my fear slowly is replaced by curiosity, and by the time the last one pushes me around I am more curious of what they are than I am afraid of them. Then they stop.</p><p>I wait a little longer and just as I thought, they are gone once again.. There were so many of them this time, yet none of them harmed me. It just makes me wonder, what causes them, and why are they moving me?</p><p>Aside from the waves that woke me up and my curiosity against them I am starting to feel different. I can't explain how, but I feel strange.</p><p>What is this?...</p><p>Oh, I know. Its the fluttering!</p><p>A welcoming feeling I recognize from last time, only I don't feel it as strongly as before. Still, hello fluttering. I'm excited to feel you once more.<br/>
It makes me even happier to know I still have a friend with me. Quick, warm, and calming, just like last time.</p><p>Then, out of nowhere something squishy touches me and scares me yet again. It stays there, close to me, caressing my side, but I don't know what it is. I wish I could reach out to it, explore it, but again, how do I do that? Am I capable of such things?<br/>
Is this long squishy thing something dangerous? Why can only it explore me when I also want to explore it?</p><p>What is this thing?</p><p>Little by little it slides next to me and seems to be tired of us, because it leaves me and the fluttering alone. Just disappears like that…. Strange… I wonder what it wanted.</p><p>Could it feel me the way I felt it? What else can I feel?<br/>
I want to feel as much as possible, I want everything around me to come closer so I can explore it, yet I am afraid that it might be dangerous for me or my friend.</p><p>I wonder if there are other ways of exploring than just waiting. It seems so boring, I wish I could reach out and touch them just like they touch me.</p><p>Wait! I just discovered something!</p><p>I can curl and stretching myself around the flutter!</p><p>I do it again and curl around my friend, maybe this way I can protect it from whatever comes to feel us, and out of nowhere the long thing is back. It seems to be touching the flutter but it doesn't seem to be hurting it.<br/>
I curl around them, curious to know what they'll do now, but nothing happens. The little fluttering within me is still dancing around, and the long thing just accepts us too. It still feels squishy, and upon closer inspection moves slightly in a similar way as the fluttering, only I can barely feel its movements.</p><p>It is also warm and soft, like us. We stay like this for some time while I decide if we can be friends with it and not long after, having decided we can trust it, I stretch back to my original position. Waiting patiently for something else to make itself known.</p><p>I wonder when it will be the next time I come back. Maybe more things come to play… its so exciting to find new things to discover!</p><p>The three of us stay together some more, I curl and stretch myself once, twice, I do it mostly out of boredom and curiosity, but nothing else comes to us. I am starting to feel tired.</p><p>I think I will sleep some more…</p><p>Just like last time, the ticklish fluttering lulls me to sleep</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just randomly wrote it first, so you can really picture any of the boys in there, but after considering who it would be I decided it'd be Schneider, given he recently welcomed his 3rd baby into this world.</p><p>Congratulations to him and his Uli!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The others</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Christoph is 10 weeks old now, not an embryo anymore. He and his mom go through a stressful moment, but luckily she is there for him. </p><p>Christoph discovers his mouth with his newly formed hands and feet</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And this just keeps going! xD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I found these things not long ago, arms and legs, they are not fully functional, but I've found they are quite useful. I intend to make them work eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, it takes so much energy from me to maneuver them, and due to this it is very frustrating when they dont do what I want them to, but I still like them because with them I can feel more things in this infinite darkness, next to me and under me. Every time I roll around they help me investigate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I also found the long and squishy thing seems to have liked us enough to have attached to my belly, but I let him be. Perhaps it has always been connected to me, I just wasnt aware of it. What it actually does is a mystery, but I think he is keeping me in place in case the waves try to push me too far. I am thankful to him for not letting me get lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The waves are also rare now, they only come every now and then, not as frequently as they used to. Ironically, I was having so much fun last time they came, along with my new discovery. Every time they pushed me I could reach around and touch as much as I could with my new arms and legs. For some reason they are getting longer, and more flexible, and thanks to them I discovered I am bigger than I thought I was. Bigger than the fluttering, and maybe more powerful than the long squishy thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having my arms and legs close to me is more comfortable and less energy consuming, although every now and then they seem to have a mind of their own and randomly jolt out as far as they can reach or curl as tight as they can go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Makes me wonder if I am really the one in control or not. I hope I am.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first I would get mad and tell them to stop, but they dont seem to care if I get tired or not, they just like feeling stuff around, and in all honesty I cant blame them. I am curious too!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They have also been changing from when I first met them. When I discovered them, accidentally really, after one of them hit me and I almost panicked, they were very small and stiff, I couldn't move them, they were just there and moved whenever they felt like. I thought they were some sort of thing that came to bother me, but now we all know they belong to me, because they do as I say…. At least most of the time… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I also noticed when something slowly grew out of them, when I reached to touch one of them and they joined. It felt as if another smaller, yet softer thing was growing from them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It used to be one thing, but right now it seems there are five other smaller, and separate, limbs coming from each of the first ones. It is crazy! I think its just too many and have yet to find their purpose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wonder why I need so many, or if I need them at all, and if I will be able to control those too since so far they just stick out and do nothing like the weird things they are. They do the same my arms did, move whenever they want to, without my consent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are boring and useless… or maybe they are shy and will play with me when they get to know me better. I promise I will be good to them! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fluttering in my tummy is fading slowly. I am afraid something happened to it, but I feel it less and less as the time passes. I wish I could help my friend, but the long squishy thing is so close to it I am sure it would let me know if there was something wrong. So far it is calm about it, so maybe it is supposed to happen, I still wonder if the fluttering will stay within me for long and what will happen to it when I don't feel it anymore. I wonder where it will go now.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>I stretch myself lazily, I have nothing to do right now, the waves are not here, and Ive touched around for a while now without feeling anything new. It bores me a little, so I simply let myself go with the flow once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then something I never expected happens. I feel uncomfortable. I had never felt uncomfortable before, I immediately know something is not right, the long squishy thing radiates fear and shares it with me through my tummy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Around me things start feeling different, the soft movement of my long squishy friend becomes almost nonexistent, and I begin to feel as if everything crumbled around me. I feel how my surroundings tighten and it starts to scare me. I don't know whats going on, what is happening? I attempt to reach out to feel what happens, but there is nothing that explains the feeling, just a horrible, horrible feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I desperately kick and turn trying to get rid of it, but it doesn't seem to be helping. My fluttering friend seems to feel it too, he moves faster and jumps harder. Its too much for me, I don't know what to do, so I curl as tight as I can around my friends in an attempt to protect them. It isn't until my long squishy friend begins moving again that the fluttering starts to move normally and I don't feel as terrible, but still, things are not ok.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I cautiously wait. Nothing else happens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a horrible thing! I never, ever, want to feel that again! Not even the waves were ever like this! I am so scared, I just want to move away somewhere else. Away from danger. I wonder what happened for my long squishy friend to act in such way, what did we do for him to do this to us? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I reach down to touch him, and he is still there, tightly attached to my belly. I try to pull away from him, but he won't move, he just continues to be like he usually is. Gently moving at a rhythm similar to the fluttering's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It saddens me. I thought we were friends. I thought he wouldn't hurt me… I don't know what made him change his mind about us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though he seems to be back to normal I feel him radiating something bad, something that makes me feel sad, or anxious. On closer inspection I think its afraid too. His sadness enters me and confuses me. It makes me really sad too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is something happening to him? Is something happening to me? Or to the fluttering? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it wasn't him doing this, maybe he was asking for help and something was wrong and I didn't to anything to help him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking about this just makes me feel worse. What if he needed me and I just panicked and didnt help him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The temperature around us rises only a bit, but enough to keep this negative feeling around and I just wish it could all go back to the way it was before. The tension is bad. I don't know what to do with myself, so I just keep myself curled to protect myself and my friends for as long as this goes on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To me it feels like forever… my arms and legs feel tired. Please….Please go away, we promise to be good….we are sorry...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe this is happening for a reason and I did something wrong. Did I do something bad? Is this my fault?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What will happen to us? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Im scared….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as I curl myself a bit tighter around myself I feel a soft pressure on us, that moves back and forth. It does this for some time, and stops every now and then, but soon resumes its movements. It is similar to the waves, but not quite the same, it doesn't feel like its them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After making sure its not here to hurt us I gently stretch out of our position and reach to investigate it, fear still lingering in me, but the soft pressure that comes through us is not bad. My long squishy friend feels better as the pressure is felt over us again, I feel him relaxing next to me, and it relaxes me too.  This pressure is like a soft caress from a stronger force, greater than me and any other thing I've ever experienced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Could it possibly be, that we're not alone after all? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pressure continues to be gentle, and it moves back and forth a couple more times, comforting, I try to reach out to it and thank it for checking on us, I try to let it know we are ok, thanks to it, but it is so far away I end up just letting it rock me back and forth until I almost forget about the terrible experience I just had. The world around me is again warm and loving, so peaceful it makes me feel much better. I have no idea what is going on, but I immediately trust it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What is this new thing? No matter how hard I try to reach out to it, I can't touch it, it just keeps trying to communicate to us like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's rocking, along with my attempts to touch it make me feel very tired and sleepy. I really wish I could thank it for protecting us, for making the bad feeling go away, but maybe it doesn't want to be thanked. Maybe all it wants it to make us feel safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As long as it is here, I believe everything will be alright.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>I awaken to one of my limbs on my face. I feel something weird, and it's not only that the soft pressure isnt here anymore, I notice it is gone, and everything is normal again, just like I hoped, so I am not afraid to investigate around me once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right there, where the tiny limbs of my arm touch my face, I feel… a hole?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can push my arm and put some of its little limbs inside the hole. I feel it on them, my mostly useless fingers, inside of my mouth itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didnt know I have a mouth! Was it always supposed to be there? How long has it been there? How did it get there? What is my mouth for? Can I touch things with it? I cant wait to explore it!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am fully awake and excited in record time, wanting to explore every millimeter of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then it closes around my fingers, it startles me and I move my arm away for a moment. Frozen, waiting to see what else my mouth does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Woah, did I do that? Am I in control of it too? Have I been doing it all this time and not realized it, or is this some new ability of mine? I wonder what my mouth is for, but having my fingers inside it feels good. What is its purpose? And more importantly, what else I can put in it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wild idea occurs to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...My legs.... can I put my legs in my mouth?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oddly enough, I reach down to my leg and try to pull,  full of determination. I am happy to find my fingers work with me for the very first time and try their best to close around it to help me. I decide they need more help and reach with my other hand to help them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can do this, just.. a little more… I can do this...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both my hands are clumsy and my leg slides away from them once or twice, but we manage to help one another and with a lot of effort and concentration I manage to get my leg, all of my little fingers wrapped around it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ok, I got this.. now, up to my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is the most exciting moment I've had in awhile! I feel like I shouldn't be doing this, but it is so much fun!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My leg bends and using both my hands I stick the end of my foot in my mouth while holding it in place. I can feel my toes inside, I notice they are smaller than the fingers on my hands, but I still enjoy the feeling. It tickles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let go of my leg, feeling utterly exhausted. I let my leg slide back to its place and stay motionless while resting after all of that crazy action going on in here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was intense! And it was great, and so exciting, the way my fingers helped me makes me think they finally like me. We make a good team. I can't wait to see what else my fingers can do!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am content while I rest, I feel like I have accomplished so much already. I mean, grabbing that leg wasn't easy, but I managed to do it. <em>We</em> managed to do it. I feel very good while the energy returns to me little by little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now the only question remaining is, can I do it again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, in fact, I can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amused, I reach down, sneaking my hands to get my other leg, just like the first time, and once I have a tight grip on it, I pull it up, and then I do exactly the same thing with it. I stick my foot in my mouth happily and hold it in place with both hands while I do so. It feels exactly like the other one. Just amazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I realize I can not only keep my foot inside my mouth, but I can suck on it while I do so and that gives me an incredible feeling of joy, something I had never felt before. I am amazing! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is so much fun, and it is so weird, and so exciting and entertaining, and it tickles. The fluttering seems to be enjoying it too, it keeps happily jumping and dancing within me, I just wish I could feel it strongly like before, but I am so glad it agrees with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyhow, I think I will spend the rest of my existence doing this. It is truly amazing, and it is now my favorite thing to do.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. That guy down there...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>15 week old baby Christoph discovers his penis.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was slightly shorter, like 100 words less than usual, and I know I already write short chapters! I'm so sorry!</p><p>I had these three pre-written, so I could post them quickly, hopefully it doesn't take me long to write more. 1st person writing is more complicated than I thought! </p><p>Thanks for reading this either way! I'd love to know what you all think of it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since I gained more control of my hands I kick and punch whenever I feel something bothers me. I try to be good of course, but together we are bigger and stronger than we were before.</p><p>Sometimes I feel little pokes here and there, I move aside trying to avoid them, but when they manage to touch me I try to respond. At first it scared me, we all curled into a tiny ball together. Then it made me angry and we tried to punch it away. Now I think its kind of fun and always get excited when the poking starts. Its like a little game. I use my arms and legs to poke back.</p><p>What they really want is also a mystery, but I don't mind it. The pokes have never hurt us or made us feel bad, I think they just want to play. It makes me happy and keeps me busy, but it also makes me more tired than anything else and always makes me fall asleep immediately after playing.</p><p>There is something else that has been growing within me. Its been doing so slowly but steadily, and its taken it quite some time to turn into what it is now. I noticed it soon after discovering my mouth, one of the times I went to grab my leg, I felt like a small nub below the attachment of my squishy friend on my belly, at first I thought I was growing another leg because it is so close to them, and I was so excited! But it doesnt seem to be growing the same way the others did for some reason. It confuses me. I really don't know what it is if not a leg….I am hopeful it will become one as I know it is still growing.</p><p>It is a very tiny leg compared to the other two, and it has no toes. A very weird thing going on down there, I am aware of that, but there is nothing I can do about it. It just grew there and won't seem to have any plans on moving any time soon!</p><p>I also find that I cannot move it, no matter how hard I try. Makes me wonder if it could its own being, similar to what the fluttering was, but it just doesnt do anything. It doesnt flutter or dance around. He's no fun to be around.</p><p>The tiny leg is asleep most of the time, and when he does awaken, I feel him stretch up for just a few moments before it goes back to his original position for another nap. I suppose he also wants to learn what is around us and that's why he reaches out like I do with my hands, except he only has… himself…</p><p>What a weirdo…</p><p>I've tried everything to be friends with him, but he continues to ignore me. Only awakening, stretching himself just for a little while and then shrinking back to sleep. I even tried touching him to see if he was alright, I thought maybe he was afraid, but even though I managed to wake him up and I tried to show I'm not a bad me, he just stood there, like waiting for me to amuse him or something, then it shrunk back to its place as if telling me to leave him alone.</p><p>Am I really that boring? My squishy friend likes me enough, otherwise he would not have attached to my belly, so I refuse to believe I am the problem here.</p><p>What's even weirder is that every time I touch the guy down there, I can feel it, just like I feel my arms and legs, and because of this I am pretty sure he has to be another leg, but a weird one with its own mind.</p><p>I came to the conclusion recently that he simply doesnt like me, and I am not sure I like him either. He is too grumpy… to each their own I think…</p><p>When I discovered him I was happy because I thought I could make a new friend since I stopped feeling the fluttering, but he wants nothing to do with me and it made me sad at first, yet now I just let him be. He can be as grumpy as he wants as long as he doesnt bother me, so far he's just been nosy, and I don't mind that.  He can be as nosy as he wants.</p><p>I miss my fluttering friend… I feel lonely sometimes...if not for my squishy friend I would be really lonely, I'm glad he is still attached to my tummy.</p><p>I also realized we are all floating in some sort of… something… and I discovered I can consume it. It feels funny inside my mouth and inflates my tummy when I do so, but I find no pleasure in that. Where does it go when I consume it? No idea, I just know the guy down there gets it and spits it out some time later. It feels weird when he does. Makes me like him even less.</p><p>One time I tried consuming as much as the liquid as I could, until my tummy felt very big, just to see if he could keep up. Incredibly, he spit it all out later and my tummy went back to its regular feeling and size.</p><p>It was one more reason to dislike him, really. He thinks he can keep up with what I do but keeps ignoring me anyway! </p><p>Weird leg, how come the other two dont do that? They are friendlier. I like them more. Ever since that happened I try to avoid consuming more of the liquid around us. Sometimes I can't help it, I feel like I need to do so and I give in, but he keeps spiting all my liquid like he is in control of my tummy. </p><p>I wont give him the pleasure of believing that if I can avoid it. It is <em>my</em> tummy, not his.</p><p>And so, Ive been trying to ignore him back. It is more entertaining to suck on my toes and hands, even more since I learned how to control them properly. They still jolt randomly every now and then and I try to calm them when that happens, but I think its just because they're happy.</p><p>...Unlike that other guy down there…</p><p>My fluttering would be happy I can control them now. I hope he is ok, wherever he is. He was my first and best friend. Maybe he could've helped me with this grumpy leg… </p><p>I don't know what his problem is, but he really is a weird one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sure they'll eventually get along...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sounds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>20 week old Christoph hears his mother for the first time</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok, I started this, now I shall finish it!..... hopefully...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This new discovery I made is the strangest thing I've found so far. Even stranger than my little leg, because no matter what I try I cannot feel it… or them… I think it's more than one, but I don't think they belong to me or to any of my friends because no matter what we do, they happen at their own will.</p><p>I am as still as possible, trying to figure out what they are and why they happen. They seem to be very far, because they dont let me touch them. I don't know how long it's been, overtime I've been able to get this sensation in my head.</p><p>I don't know what is causing it, thanks to it I discovered those new things. They were faint at first, but they've made themselves known more and more with the passing of time, and it just keeps going, there are more and more every time I awaken.</p><p>It started with just a never ending "<em>dub-thump, dub-thump, dub-thump</em>" that echoes around. I don't find it scary, on the contrary, I kind of like it, yet I can't figure out what it is or what its for. Its just so…. Calming...</p><p>Then I could hear some rumbling sound, not always, but it appears closer than the thumping sometimes.</p><p>Is that what this is? Hearing? What am I hearing?</p><p>Those sounds are very interesting, and what is even crazier is my squishy friend also started whooshing along with the thumping. It is very faint, but if I focus, I can hear it. Makes me wonder if they're related.</p><p>Ever since it started it hasn't stopped, and maybe it never will, but that's ok. Hopefully it doesn't stop because I really do enjoy it. Then there is this even weirder sound, it is my favorite, but It is the one I understand the least. Sometimes it is very high, and sometimes it is low. Sometimes I hear it clearer, while other times I have to really concentrate to catch it, and it combines being high and then low, and they high again. It even reacts to what I do, and may also come with some poking, or some of that soft pressure that relaxes me.</p><p>Not long ago I was overwhelmed by all that was going on. There was this movement, and then the thumping became really fast and that lovely sound that can change was really high and then, when the thumping went crazy and the sound disappeared the waves came back. I hadn't felt them in a while, but here they were, massaging me, and I felt the temperature around me rise.</p><p>The whooshing of my squishy friend was also louder and it moved more than it ever has, and it made me want to move as much as I could too. I was restless. I didnt know what to do with myself! It was like a rush of energy brought by the waves that caressed me. Its like they have evolved and they make noises to me when they come.</p><p>Then the thumping calmed down and the waves became gentler. It took them a bit to leave, but I found it a welcoming feeling. I wonder if and when it will happen again.</p><p>I thought I had things figured out, but with this new "hearing" things took a wild turn.</p><p>Now I am hearing the beautiful changing sound, and even though I still cant understand it I love stopping every now and then to pay attention to it.</p><p>I curl my legs closer to me and form a fist with one of my hands while I suck on the other one with my mouth and pay attention to it. Maybe if I move a lot it'll go away, and I don't want it to go away, so I stay like this, nor moving at all, trying to be good for it so it doesn't leave me.</p><p>The sound is here, then goes, then is back but a little different, and it continues this pattern. Like it is doing something I cannot understand.. It is the most beautiful thing I've heard so far, I think, and soon enough, the pokes start.</p><p>It bother me a bit because I want to remain in my place so the sound stays, but it keeps provoking me. I can't help but to give in and soon slap the poke away. It comes again and again, I am poked and I push it away. To my surprise the sound seems to like it so I continue to respond every poke, I think it likes that I play with it, and I am good at this game.</p><p>It pokes again and I push with my foot. The sound goes higher. It pokes again and I push with my hand this time. We play like this for what seems like a long time to me, but then when it pokes again I have no energy left to continue. My mouth opens wide, it happens when I am exhausted, and I just curl back to sleep. I can't help it </p><p>The sound seems to understand after a few pokes that I dont respond. It stops poking, though it continues to go high and low in a soothing matter. It really is beautiful. </p>
<hr/><p>There is a loud sound I have never heard before, very sudden. It awakens me with a start, and I rapidly reach around, flailing with my hands in utter panic, ending up grabbing my squishy friend and pulling him to me instinctively in an attempt to keep him safe from whatever is going on.</p><p>Just as fast as the sound came, it is gone, and the usual soothing pressure is on us, caressing us again. I dont let go of my squishy friend just yet for good measure, just hold on to him in fear.</p><p>What was that?! What is happening?! Where did it come from?!</p><p>Right now I am not really enjoying this hearing thing… that is, until the beautiful sound joins the soothing pressure softly and I actually hear the sounds "I'm so sorry, baby!"</p><p>What!? It is the first time I can hear it clear enough to make out all of its sounds, I am so confused right now, what is it doing? What does it mean? What was that noise? Is it responding to me?</p><p>I hear it again, this time it sounds softer "Its alright little one."</p><p>I don't know what it is with it, but it does calm me down a little. Now I am curious of what the sound means. What are all those noises its making?</p><p>I uncurl myself and let my squishy friend go, trying to find out what it is the sound wants. I hear another one of them, but not as clear, I cannot hear all of its sounds, but I think the beautiful one did. I don't have to wait long for it to respond to it. I am amazed by the exchange and again stay as still as possible attempting to comprehend them.</p><p>"I'm fine," I hear it "I dropped a pan and startled Christoph. Jumpy little boy I wish you could've felt him"</p><p>My mind is blown by this. If only I could understand what it's doing and what it all means. Where are they coming from? And what do they want from me?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wish I started writing this with my usual style, whoever writes in first person and finds it easy has a real gift!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Christoph and the tiny voice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>25 week old Schneider has a rough night of hiccups, bad sleeping positions, and tiny leg erections<br/>An encounter with a certain some one makes it better.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello again (:</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up with my squishy friend in my mouth. Of course not all of him, he is attached to me so there is no way, but I had never done that before. He feels slippery, not like my fingers and toes, but a different kind of slippery. He is also whooshing in a relaxed way and I wonder if he is awake like me or not. </p><p>I'm sorry if I disturbed you, friend…</p><p>The thumping sound is slower and more steady, as if inviting me to sleep once again. I don't know why I am awake, I was so tired earlier, and the beautiful sound is not here either so I shouldn't be awake. </p><p>I roll trying to get into a comfortable position while getting one of my feet in my mouth, maybe this way I wont start sucking on my friend again, but after a moment I realize I am bored. There is nothing around at this moment to entertain me. My squishy friend is asleep, the thumping is too calm and the voice is gone. </p><p>It seems so quiet without it. Yeah, I learnt the beautiful sound is a "voice" and I was right to believe there are more of them, though I still cant explain where they come from and cant always hear the others clearly, the beautiful one is almost always here, clear, soft, reassuring. Thats all I need.</p><p>I really enjoy when the beautiful voice directs its attention towards me, however I am conflicted by something it does sometimes, and not only it, but it's friends too, the other voices. </p><p>It's become more and more obvious to me that whenever they start the poking game, or bring the soft pressure with them they say "Christoph" as if trying to get my attention that way. They also wake me up sometimes and they repeat it over and over to get me to react.</p><p>I've been questioning myself now, what is a Christoph? How does it work? Do they think I am a Christoph?</p><p>I always thought I was a Me, even back then when the fluttering was still with me, I was convinced I was a Me, but now it appears they try to convince me I am something else. It really doesn't make any sense. How can they know I am a Christoph and not a Me if they have never been close enough for them to feel me? </p><p>I've been trying to learn from them, but how can I learn from something that makes so many noises, says so many things, and yet only wants to poke me and call me something I may not be at all?</p><p> How do I say to them that I am not what they think I am? I am not a voice either, I don't say things, there is no way for me to let them know what I really am.</p><p>It makes me wonder if I really am a Me sometimes, but maybe it is better if I just ignore them and let them believe what they want, after all, I cannot change their minds. And if I am indeed a Christoph, then are there more like me? And where? </p><p>All this thinking got me tired. I will listen to the thumping and go back to sleep.</p><p>I continue sucking at my foot in a relaxed way and feel myself falling slowly when everything around me shifts. I am back to being awake immediately, and feel how from my side a new kind of pressure is forming. Not a good one.</p><p> It starts covering us and squishing us, making us stick to one another uncomfortably. The beautiful voice makes a sound, but it doesn't say anything. </p><p>What is this? Its disturbing my peace. Makes me angry.</p><p>I move as best as I can in search for the voice, but it is quiet. I push here and there trying to make space for us and get the attention of the voice. Nothing.</p><p>The little leg awakens, it grows to feel around too, perhaps feeling squished too. I wonder what he's feeling at, if he's not going to help then he better goes away…. But he doesn't, he's too curious to go away. </p><p> I move more furiously, pull my squishy friend with me and drag him and the curious leg with my every movement. We need to get the voice to feel this, its too uncomfortable, I need my space back! </p><p>But suddenly my tummy jumps...</p><p>And now what is this?!!</p><p>My tummy jumps again, and its ok for a moment, and then it jumps again. It takes this pattern and continues to do so. I am even angrier now. Why is my tummy jumping?! </p><p>The little leg seems to be enjoying my misfortune, as it stays as awake as ever. I kick and turn with my squishy friend, my tummy jumping, making me consume more and more of the liquid around us. </p><p>Why is this happening?!</p><p>Finally I hear the beautiful voice once more, the world moves around us and the squishing pressure creeps back to the side and leaves. Good.</p><p> In exchange, the voice gives me some of the good relaxing pressure and says softly "Have you got the hiccups, sweet baby?"</p><p>My tummy continues to jump, I consume more liquid. It must be the little leg trying to steal it so it can spit it out later. Is the voice not going to help me? I kick angrily and move, trying to position in a way that makes my tummy stop, but it just wont!</p><p>Voice, I don't know what you're saying but this is wrong. Very wrong. I am being humiliated by these two! They're plotting against me!</p><p>"I know, dont worry" the voice tells me "it'll go away soon"</p><p>The voice is saying things! Stop now!</p><p>I try to make them understand, but they just don't. My tummy and my little leg have betrayed me...</p>
<hr/><p>A specific poke rubs my arm insistently and the voice accompanying it tries to get my attention. It woke me up only to annoy me, I think.</p><p>I didn't wake up in a good mood because I am tired, I couldn't sleep well with all the jumping my tummy did, it was so uncomfortable. It seems the beautiful voice couldn't sleep either, it tried a lot of things to calm my tummy. It rubbed us, it said things to us, it made it cooler around us, it moved us to one side, then to the other. </p><p>The little leg gave up easier, it got bored and retreated when the temperature changed, but my tummy still jumped for a bit. </p><p>I am trying to pretend I can't hear them. It is really hard, I want to slap the poke away, but if I do so then I will give them what they want. </p><p>"It seems you have a deep sleeper!" The strange voice says when it stops poking me "Hopefully he sleeps like this when he's born"</p><p>"I hope so. We had a rough night" the beautiful voice responds to it, sounds tired "He had the hiccups for the first time, seemed to calm a bit after a cold glass of water, but he just wouldn't stop kicking me"</p><p>"Aw, you poor thing! Till had the hiccups every single day, we never got a break from it" The weird voice is attempting to cheer the beautiful one I think, it sounds bigger. "You both must've been so uncomfortable!" </p><p>"I think he was, I am just exhausted. Barely slept thanks to it"</p><p>Yeah, yeah, whatever you voices say, just leave me alone.. Sadly things are not easy for me, and the beautiful voice keeps saying things to respond to the other one. I just want to go back to sleep!</p><p>I pay attention to the way they sound, they seem to be happy. There is a third voice too, but it wont say much. This one is higher, and much quieter than the beautiful one and the weird one. After some time, I move, completely forgetting I was trying to avoid detection.</p><p>The beautiful voice says "I think he's awake now, would you like to give it another try?" But I don't pay attention to that… until the poking and pushing starts again and I realize my mistake.</p><p>Why did I move?! I was doing so well!</p><p>I turn away from its touches, but it seems to like it and tries to find me, so I keep trying to avoid it by moving away from it. Its says things to me sounding happier than before. Just go away! I am not interested in discovering you!</p><p>"Till, honey, would you like to feel the baby?" The beautiful voice says and soon the weird voice's touch is gone, instead replaced with a much smaller thing caressing me. Its movements are softer, nicer than the other's. This time I stay still. Figuring out if I want to be poked by this one. </p><p>"Hello?" The tiny voice says. Ok, this one is new, and for some reason it doesn't bother me. It makes me curious. It waits patiently for me  instead of rubbing me. I like that.  I lift my foot and press back against it. Can you feel me, tiny voice?</p><p>Immediately its touch is removed. Did I scare it?... I didnt mean to scare it. I thought thats what it wanted. I put my foot down and wait, listening to the other voices. They just talk, but then the tiny one is heard again.</p><p>"I don't think baby like..." it says, sounding a bit sad, or maybe confused. Did I make it sad? I'm sorry…</p><p>"No, its ok, Till, he is just saying hello" the beautiful voice replies "come, I think he is around… here, can you feel him?"</p><p>The tiny voice pokes me again </p><p>Will it get scared if I touch it? I hesitate for a moment. I don't want to scare it.</p><p>Till…. They keep calling the tiny voice Till. What is a Till? Where does a Till come from? Is the Till not a voice?</p><p>The Till says "Hello? Baby?"</p><p>"His name is Christoph" the beautiful voice says. It is calling me that again! Maybe the Till just didnt know if I am dangerous, but I don't want to scare the Till. I think I like the Till. </p><p>It says with its tiny voice and soft tone "Christoph?"</p><p>A rush of joy overwhelms me, I get so excited out of nowhere! I have to move, I have to do something! I reach to pull on my squishy friend while pushing up with my two feet in excitement hoping the Till will feel it</p><p>Hello, voice Till. I am a Me, don't let the other voices fool you. These are my feet, I like to put them in my mouth. And this is my squishy friend, he doesnt do much, but he likes to whoosh, its pretty fun. Do you want to play the pokes? </p><p>"Hello, Christoph" the Till says, sounding much happier than before</p><p>I feel it push against my feet, he rubs them carefully, and I push harder.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to add 3 year old Till to the story. I felt more of the boys needed to be here, and since Paul wouldve been probably way too young, Flake was most likely in the same situation as Doom and Richard and Oli didnt even exist by the time Schneider was like this, Till was a good candidate for it, so here we are to add up to the image of not only a baby Schneider, but also a shy toddler Till!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Third trimester</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Christoph finally opens his eyes while out with his mom, unfortunately he can't see much. He hears music for the first time.</p><p>30 week baby is starting to get too big.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to the 3rd trimester! Where weird cravings and mood swings are at their best! :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We have been very busy, the darkness has been interrupted by red and black shapes. The red ones are bright, while the black ones are funny and move along with my movements, I can't really tell what they are, everything is fuzzy, but I believe I may have gained a new ability. With all my other abilities like hearing and touching, more things came around, but this one has only disturbed the nice darkness I had around me, hopefully I can learn to control it too, it doesn't seem to be permanent and I think I can make it go dark again.</p><p>The voice seemed to go somewhere, a lot of other voices were around and they talked, the shapes were very bright, and the thumping was slightly faster. It was hot in here, but my squishy friend radiated happiness. The red and black shapes were brighter than they are now, and my world rocked from side to side gently.</p><p>I tried to stay busy just because the world was busy around me, I didn't want to seem lazy around all the busy happenings, so I moved around as much as I could to show everybody how busy I was too. It made me really tired, I tried my best to stay awake, yet somehow I fell asleep.<br/>
Who can blame me? I was very very busy.</p><p>Now everything has calmed down. I woke up to the thumping being nice and calm. The voice is going up and down in a funny way, and seems to be moving me around with its pressures. I do not know what its doing, but this noise is going around with it. A noise I really like but doesnt appear to come from another voice, it is not as clear, and has many noises that I've never heard the voices do.</p><p>I try to move to get a better understanding of it, noting again that it is also a little harder to maneuver around. I realized that too while we were all working hard, my world has been getting smaller lately and I can't spin and flip like I used to, maybe my squishy friend is pulling everything together, I don't know. Its a bit uncomfortable, but its ok. Maybe it'll go back to the way it was soon.</p><p>When I manage to get myself in a better position the voice speaks, "Are you liking the music?"</p><p>Yes, voice. I moved, see?</p><p>I move again to show it was me, nothing to be afraid of. The voice seems to agree its nothing to fear and I feel its soothing pressure caressing me, right on my backside thanks to the position I assumed. Thank you, I appreciate you rubbing my butt, now what is this we are hearing? Why are you saying things like it too? You go high and low with it, how does that work?</p><p>I am very interested in those noises, trying to listen to them, some sound like the thumping, but they are not so continuous. Some rush and stop and change tempo. I am blown by them and want to learn all about them.</p><p>I move gently once again when my squishy friend jumps slightly and I reach down to feel him with interest, he had never done that before… what is it? We can't know what it is if you keep distracting me.</p><p>I start feeling sadness coming from him. The feeling is a negative one, I don't like it. Is he ok? I reach to grab him and pull him to me wondering why he is so sad all of a sudden, and not knowing what to do I put him in my mouth and suck on him softly, trying to make him feel better. Nothing is going on now, we're just listening to the new sounds, dont be sad…</p><p>The voice is not going along with the noises anymore, instead it seems to gasp and sound maybe as sad as my squishy friend. Why is everyone so sad all of a sudden? Is the new sound bad? I really like it and don't think is bad at all. I don't understand.</p><p>Then the voice seems to wrap around us, it caresses us a little tighter and sounding very sad it says to us "I love you, Christoph."</p><p>I am sorry, but I cannot understand you… can you feel my squishy friend? He is sad too, do you know what happened to him? Is everything alright?</p><p>"My sweet baby boy, you're going to make mommy very proud one day arent you? I can't wait to meet you, sunshine"</p><p>Why is everyone so sad? I wish I could understand what the voice is saying. First my squishy friend, now the voice, did something bad happen? I thought this was a good moment. I was enjoying it, I have a new ability, we are hearing these nice noises, and nothing is disturbing us.</p><p>Is my new ability bad? Did the new sound hurt you?</p><p>I can't help but feel sad and a bit helpless too, I want to help but I don't know how, maybe it was me that was bad. Maybe I did something wrong and I didn't notice…<br/>
Was I bad, voice? Why are you making those sad noises?</p><p>"I'm sorry, I'm just happy to have you with me," The voice continues, now sounding a little bit better, but still with a sad tone to it "please excuse your hormonal mother."</p><p>I reach out to the voice, still sucking on my squishy friend. I hope it feels me reaching out, most likely it doesn't because I fail tu turn properly, but I want it to be happy.</p><p>Please voice, I'll do anything to make you feel better.</p><p>Please don't be sad…</p>
<hr/><p>"What are you eating?"</p><p>I recognize that voice, it is the other voice. I hear it all the time along with the beautiful one, it is a deeper voice, and it talks to me sometimes. That voice is friendly, and it seems to be making fun of something.</p><p>"Eintopf" the beautiful one replies to it, equally as amused "with a bit of honey..."</p><p>Earlier a wild idea came to my mind. Unfortunately I couldn't understand it because it seemed to be in the voices' language, but maybe the beautiful voice understood and soon enough all the liquid changed. It felt amazing, I am happy I am in it and can enjoy it. It completely changed the voice and made it happy again, which I am proud of. </p><p>The deeper voice bursts in amusement. I don't know what they are saying or what's so funny about it, but must be something good to make them so happy, a big pressure caresses my butt again. Not my fault, or its fault for that matter, I've been stuck in this position since I tried to move to discover the noises earlier, it seems its the first part of me they reach but I don't mind.</p><p>"What is this sticking out?"</p><p>"I don't know, he's been in that position for a couple hours now, could either be his head or his buttocks, he's not moved enough for me to tell. I kind of want it to be his butt. Its cute"</p><p>The deeper voice says playfully "what are you doing to your mother, young man? Have some decency!"</p><p>I am feeling better too,, deeper voice. The world seems to have taken a rather delicious feeling. I don't know how to call it, but I feel it in the liquid around me. I wish you could try it, its very nice.</p><p>It is the first time we all agree to something in here!<br/>
We've been consuming quite a lot of it, we all like it, my tummy feels big and funny.</p><p>"Would you like a plate, baby?"</p><p>"Minus the honey, yes please. It is quite a strange combination you got there"</p><p>The beautiful voice hums "Christoph would disagree"</p><p>"Of course he would, im sure he is the reason why you're eating this in the first place!"</p><p>The world shifts and I am finally able to move to another position. The little leg spits the liquid and I feel offended by it, he doesnt even bother to move, just like that, in his comfortable sleeping position, he spits it all out! Who does he think he is? </p><p>Don't spit it! Its nice today, we need to keep it! What is wrong with you, always ruining my best moments!</p><p>Of course the voices can't hear me, but they continue to say things to each other. Even with the frustration of the little leg stealing my liquid again I am happy. My squishy friend and the voice are not sad anymore, and that is all that matters to me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We're approaching the end!!!<br/>Should I bring toddler Till one last time?...</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I wish I was a Voice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Big boy Christoph is tired of the tight little world. At 35 weeks he wonders what it would be like to be somewhere else.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Boo! :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I am not feeling so well. Ever since the tightness started it has only been worse and worse, I have a hard time moving, even though the voice tried to cheer me up and kept poking me and caressing me.</p><p>I had my tummy jumping like that other time, it only made it worse because I can't do anything about it. My legs are tightly close to my tummy and cannot be stretched like they used to, I couldn't turn to make it better and had to suffer through it. Everything around me seems to be wanting to feel me at the same time and I am just overwhelmed by it. I also think I am facing the wrong way but I can't do anything about that either. I feel I'm hanging upside down.</p><p>The voice pokes me frequently, my squishy friend radiates worry. I am ok, I don't want them to worry about me, I just dont feel comfortable anymore, and so I only move when I feel I absolutely have to. The liquid makes me feel better, especially when I feel it turning sweeter. It cheers me up a little, but sadly not enough.</p><p>I want everything to go back to normal so I can play the pokes, flip around when I'm excited, or even just stretch my leg. It is hard to even suck on my feet, my squishy friend and my hands are the closest I can get to it, but I love to suck on my feet and even though I managed to do so once I think I will avoid it until this problem is solved. It just takes too much energy from me.</p><p>The voice went to a quiet place earlier, even though I could hear other voices and weird noises the beautiful voice remained quiet most of the time, just caressing me over and over and when it did speak it poked me a little harder repeating "Cristoph" softly over and over as if trying to awaken me. I moved for it, only slightly, I can still push on the touches with my hands, but I wasn't in the mood.</p><p>I tried to adjust myself to another position knowing it would feel me anyway and it seemed to be enough for it to be calmer for some time. Wasnt enough for me. It actually woke me up more than twice doing that, it didn't say anything else, just told me I'm a Christoph until I moved for it. I don't know what it was looking for.</p><p>After that it woke me up calling me that yet again and moved to an even quieter place. It spoke to another voice, sounded friendly but I didn't recognize it and I moved my head trying to hear it better and get to know it. It reacted to me by saying to the voice "So baby is not moving much, huh"</p><p>"He does move, but nothing like he used to" the beautiful voice tells it "I am a little worried about him, I fear something is wrong…"</p><p>"Dont worry, we'll take a look at him and see what's going on in there, ok?"</p><p>An odd poke was felt on my side and I opened my eyes to show annoyance, the voices started talking again, my squishy friend keeps radiating worry, so I take him in order to reassure him. Its just the voices, they're not going to hurt us.</p><p>The poke turns into a soft pressure that moves everywhere on us, it focuses once up where my feet are, moving between them and my butt. Then it comes to where my arms and my squishy friend are. It does all sorts of weird things and I just move out of the way as best as I can in this tight world. Best I can do is curl my toes angrily and suck on my squishy friend.</p><p>"Everything seems to be in order," the new voice says "He did move quite a lot just now so I imagine he's just running out of space. His heartbeat sounds normal, as you can see here he's sucking on the umbilical cord but it looks healthy and it is not around his neck, I don't think it is anything serious. I will write you a report on my findings, but so far so good!"</p><p>"He was just so active before..."</p><p>"Sometimes they feel tight and just want to move less, if you feel he doesnt move in a long time aside from his sleeping patterns you can try getting his attention, move him around gently with your hand, play music for him, or even a flashlight works, some babies react to the light. Only if he keeps reacting less and less or doesn't move on his own at all then you should come back so we can discuss it. But like I said so far he looks healthy, he is just a big boy in a tight situation."</p><p>I listen to the exchange carefully. This voice sounds demanding, I don't like it. It keeps going back and forth with the beautiful voice for a long time, way longer than I like. It only pisses me off and I even hear it say "I'll see you soon Christoph"</p><p>How dare it talk to me? Does it think it can be friends with me after all the poking and moving it did against my will and the way it is talking to the beautiful voice? I completely disagree! </p><p>I try to kick it away only to hear an "oof!" from the beautiful voice before they explode in amusement together and so I curl in even tighter than I already am, feeling angry at this evil voice. I ain't nobody's joke....</p><p>I don't want to hear it, but it still says after sounding amused "You see? There is nothing to worry about"</p><p>After that the voice goes somewhere else. I wonder what's gotten into it, talking about me with the evil of its kind. What was it thinking?</p><p>I curl my toes again and blink my eyes before I close them. I am not in the mood to do anything else. I'll just close my eyes and wait for something more interesting to happen.</p>
<hr/><p>The beautiful voice is with the weird voice again. They have been talking for quite some time now while I drift in and out of consciousness. Earlier they tried to encourage me to play with them, but the pokes are not fun when I can't flip and turn as I like, it just becomes uncomfortable because it is not fair. I can't poke back in time. I pushed back once or twice, but I just don't know whats wrong with me. I wish I could have another world to be in, a bigger one that didn't become as small as this one is getting.</p><p>I am sure something is wrong but nobody is doing anything to fix it, and I clearly can't do anything about it. I wonder if they care at all. </p><p>I hear the voices talk and talk, they turn back to me and call me sometimes, and I do respond, promising I'm still listening to them.</p><p>A series of other noises follow and I snap my eyes open at the sound of yet another familiar voice, one that actually makes me feel happier, and excited. I wonder what it'll bring me and if it can help me. Even if it can't, I am happy to hear it again.</p><p>"Mutti, the fish was this big!!!" It says loudly. It makes me want to jump. I'd kick and punch if I wasnt this tight.</p><p>"Ah, you boys enjoyed fishing I see" the weird voice responds proudly and a much deeper voice follows. Not my deeper voice, but still one equally as friendly "Maybe it can be three of us in the future"</p><p>"of course! I'm sure Christoph would love that" I feel caressed and the beautiful voice says. I push against the pressure caressing me feeling more happy than before. Whatever they said, yes. Yes as long as the Till plays with me!</p><p>"I think he agrees!"</p><p>Tiny voice Till comes talking to the other voices along with the deeper voice. They all chat happily and I get good pressures that rub me and move me around, but the attention is drifted away from me..</p><p>Just when I start feeling disappointed thinking it will not happen this time, I feel the distinct smaller touch of the Till and hear it say "Hello, Christoph!" While a soft poke is felt on my leg, moving around as if trying to awaken me.</p><p>It said it! It's talking about me! Just like last time a shot of excitement runs through me. I hear the weird voice starting to make a noise but I can't hold myself, and gathering all my energy I kick my leg out as best as I can. The Till sounds very happy, maybe as happy as me even. I do my best to move to a better position to hear it better and respond to it, unfortunately without success.</p><p>"Someone is happier than we thought" the weird voice says</p><p>"Yes I felt that…" the beautiful voice groans. It's funny</p><p>"Frau, may I tell him about the fish?"</p><p>"Of course you can sweetheart" the beautiful voice replies and I feel the Till around me before it starts talking. It sounds so happy. I settle on the best position I can manage and only poke back when the Till sounds more excited and his pokes trace shapes on me, this way I can listen to everything it says while saving my energy so I can stay awake.</p><p>The Till goes on and on, and I am mesmerized by it. Even the tiny leg comes along to listen and I am happy to feel this time it behaves, so I let it stay with us.</p><p>The Till pushes me around gently and pokes me emphasizing its sayings, it caresses me and plays with me for what seems like a long time to me, I am enjoying every second of it even though I am feeling quite tired now, but eventually it all has to stop.</p><p>The Till caresses me one last time and the voices talk briefly after that. With a final caress from the bigger voices, the voice and I go somewhere else yet again.</p><p>It saddens me and makes me think I don't want to be in this world anymore it is so tight and uncomfortable, I feel im being squished all the time.</p><p>I want to be somewhere where I can move free again, where I can play with the voices. I wonder where the voices are exactly, makes me wish I was one. I wish I could understand the Till and know what is all it so enthusiastically told me. I wish I could respond to it like the other voices do and play with it forever.</p><p>Maybe I could be a voice one day and follow the Till around. Maybe we could find other voices and play all together… if only I could leave this tight world, I'd keep the Till's company on all its adventures.</p><p>And with these last thoughts, and in hopes of evolving one day, I close my eyes once again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tiny voice Till always makes everything better &lt;3</p><p>Only a couple more weeks to go D: soon he'll be released into the big voice world.</p><p>Doom is near... In a good way (:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Doomsday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Baby arrival is a happy moment for everyone!! </p><p>.....Except for baby.....</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Is it Doomsday or Doom's day? ._.<br/>I guess it depends on who's perspective you view it from..</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The waves have returned, awakening me abruptly as if yelling at me and scolding me for being lazy. They started like they always did. Just softly moving me around, but as time went on they got crazier and crazier. They are constant now, and stronger than they have ever been. They simply won't leave me alone.</p><p>Something is going on. Something new and exciting. I hear the voice, but I can't tell what it's saying, nor what it is feeling. Does it know about what's going on in here? Does it feel the waves too?</p><p>I didn't think anything new would happen ever again after last time I was with the Till, but now after a long time of feeling trapped in my small world I feel like I'm ready to do something about it.</p><p>I am feeling strong and determined as I feel the waves around me yet again telling me to awaken and move. I feel the need to stretch my legs, push myself toward the unknown, and so I do.</p><p>I move, wriggling in my place as I feel around me, looking for a way out until I find one.</p><p>The waves shake me, making me feel lighter when they leave, and stronger when they're back, they help me move around. They tell me I have to do this, and that I have to keep going.</p><p>They squeeze me tighter, I could even say it hurts when they squeeze me and everyone in here with me, but just when I feel tired they come again, stronger each time. Motivating us. I don't think they will ever stop.</p><p>My squishy friend is scared, I hear it whooshing and moving slightly faster in its place between my legs and attached to my belly, but I am not. I know that maybe I should be since I am probably going against the rules here, but it's just that these waves are so convincing and reassuring.</p><p>I know we can do this, whatever we are doing, I am convinced. I am…. Strong enough…</p><p>I push once more with my legs, stretching my body as best as I can. Little by little, something will eventually happen, I just know it.</p><p>This is what we have to do. What it is exactly is a mystery, but the waves keep telling me it is the right thing, and to keep following the impulse of pushing myself forward.</p><p>I am excited when I feel the fluttering in my core again. I thought he was gone, but he is here, cheering for us, as fast and happy as ever. I push harder with my legs, squeezing further into the tightness ahead of us.</p><p>More and more voices join, some loud, some calm. The beautiful voice is the most prominent one. We move along with it. It is taking us somewhere. No time to question where or why, I am busy and can't let them bother me.</p><p>I stop momentarily when the water around me is suddenly gone. Was that supposed to happen? Did I just ruin everything?</p><p>There is no time to think, the world is even smaller, the waves squeeze me. I push myself, sliding forward only a little more.</p><p>Come on!!!</p><p>I remember everything that's happened since I got here, it used to be so warm and comfortable. Everything I needed and wanted was just a kick away. The voice, the pressures, the thumping, it was all perfect. How did it end like this?</p><p>We keep trying our best, the waves are very frequent, but I barely move when I push now. My pushing is not enough even with the help of the waves. I try one more time, but realize I am stuck.</p><p>A few pushes more confirm it. I am going nowhere. I feel frustrated and anxious.</p><p>I try again and again, but just feel more and more desperate each time the waves squeeze me. Each time harder than before.</p><p>This is impossible. I will never move any further, I am just getting tired, and the only thing I did was make the world even smaller and more painful.</p><p>I curl my toes and get my hands closer to me when I start losing hope. Maybe I shouldn't have tried this, now I am really stuck, it hurts, it hurts so much…</p><p>The fluttering even slows down a little. It makes my head hurt, but I try to reassure everyone it's ok even though I am starting to feel scared too. This is terribly wrong.</p><p>What is going to happen now?</p><p>I push my legs one last time with all my strength, hoping the voice feels we are in trouble. I'd beg for help if I could. The waves feel crushing this time around, so painful I'd scream if I was a voice. I can only pout.<br/>
I sense we are in danger, terrible danger.</p><p>Voice, can you feel us?</p><p>Help us… please… we need you...</p><p>Just when I am about to give up all hope I hear the voice very loudly, almost angrily, and I am pushed forward.</p><p>It is helping me! The voice felt us!</p><p>Full of renewed hope I start pushing myself again and again. Sometimes by myself, sometimes with the voice, but I can feel it is more effective when it pushes us along with the waves.</p><p>Finally we start moving again and I feel we can do it. It is unknown what the end will bring me, but I am confident it will be something good.</p><p>After pushing and pushing for a very long time my legs and arms feel as tired as ever, but I keep going, and then I feel something new. A pair of…. Something..</p><p>They gently grab my head and pull carefully, I feel the tug on my neck, but it does not hurt me, instead it helps me move around and suddenly everything is cold and there are a lot of noises around. I close my eyes tightly.<br/>
Where did the darkness go? The light stings.</p><p>It feels funny how my head is light, yet my body is still being squeezed tightly until another wave comes and I am free.</p><p>And now the real nightmare begins and I regret everything. I have never felt such pain, so many things touching me and poking me, so cold, the blinding light. My head feels like it will explode any minute with all the loud noises.</p><p>They are as clear as ever. The deep voice and the beautiful voice are here, along with so many others. It feels like they all speak at the same time. It's driving me crazy.</p><p>I try to focus on the beautiful voice, lost between the sea of loud noises and confusion. I cannot find it and that makes me nervous.</p><p>I hear a closer and way louder voice saying "Congratulations, Frau Schneider! You did so well!" It startles me. I don't like it, it is scary.</p><p>Another says "Date and time, 11th of May 1966, 17 hours 42 minutes"</p><p>"He's not crying" the familiar deep voice says with a worried tone "why is he not crying?"</p><p>"It's alright, he'll breathe in no time" one more joins</p><p>The pain is unbearable when something is stuck in my mouth, all the way back. I try to open my eyes in protest, but they still sting with the light.</p><p>I know the thing in my mouth is not my hands or my feet, it is cold and not soft at all, and it pulls something out of me. Is it stealing my fluttering? Please don't steal him, I just got him back!</p><p>It hurts so much, my tummy hurts in a terrible way when the thing is removed, and just then the smallest voice I've ever heard screams in agony, even louder than the others, pretty much representing my pain.</p><p>"There you are" A voice cheers "listen to those strong lungs!"</p><p>Wait, am I screaming? Is this me? Am I a voice now?!</p><p>I don't want to be a voice anymore! Take me back! I don't want to be in pain!</p><p>The voices keep talking and cheering. I am overwhelmed by everything. I don't want to be here. I want everyone to leave us alone and be back in our warm world.</p><p>Something grabs my squishy friend now and pulls him. It makes me panic.</p><p>Leave him alone! Please don't hurt him! We promise to be good! Leave him alone! Don't take him too!</p><p>I feel something sharp against him and I cry in despair. Then a sharp sting.</p><p>No! Don't take him away! Please! He is my friend!</p><p>Please stop!! You're hurting him!!</p><p>We're scared!</p><p>The sting becomes stronger, separating me and my squishy friend slowly. It is horrible, and painful. I feel him less and less.</p><p>I hear a loud <em>SNIP</em> along with my desperate and painful wails while the voices keep cheering, and then…. Its like I never existed... Like nothing ever happened..... I am lost and confused....</p><p>....Everything starts again....</p><p>Hello?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ever wondered why we dont remember our birth? Must be a traumatic moment, dont you think?<br/>Everything we know up to that moment, as much or little as it may be, just gone. The very moment where a story ends and another one begins....<br/>Its odd if you think about it... </p><p>Oh well! It may not be a super happy ending (for our little drummer), but it is what it is.<br/>I am super excited cause I finally finished a multi chapter story! Yay!</p><p>Thank you so much for sticking with me through this for those who did!! &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3<br/>Thank you too for those who didnt but at least gave it a try, I know it was weird!<br/>I'll read you all in the next one :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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